Obama's H8-mail

This is a letter my good friend (and future contributor) Roberto Escamillo wrote to President Obama about the newest smoking regulations:

Obama - - What the heck are you doing to me man? Let me explain my situation and why you taking away my Tobacci has caused me to have such a terrible life. Pres, one day I was going to work. I worked with mentally disturbed individuals in the stock-yards of an Odessa, TX metal recycling plant. Well, every morning I wake up and get my pack of Djarum Blacks, I'm sure you've smoked them before. I can't imagine a guy as classy as yourselves not having indulged in the rich creamy tastes of a fiberglass infused clove cigarette, wrapped in delicious black paper. Every little puff brought me a little further away from my terrible duties at the scrap mill. Anyways, one morning I drove up to get me my smokes and the lady behind the counter told me that President Obama no longer lets me smoke cloves!! They didn't even have one flavored cigarette in the damn store. I decided that I needed to check for myself, so I jumped behind the counter (wrastled with the clerkess for a bit) them hopped back over, empty handed and sad-faced. So, you disgraceful man! I'd like to you know that because of that I was late to work. When I got there my boss told me I had been taking far too many cigarette breaks and that if I did not stop smoking immediately he would fire me. Fire me for smoke at a scrap mill!!! So you know what I did? I spit some chewing tobacci in his face and headed off to wal-mart to see if they had any type of clove to satisfy my craving. Well, when I got there I realized that because I quit I didn't have enough money to get pampers for my son, so I went ahead and just borrowed a few pairs. I'm saving up money to pay your fine for not carrying healthcare, sir, which is irony, huh? Anyways, I got caught stealin' them baby briches and the damn pigs took me to the cop station and put me in jail. For stealin' baby britches!! Long story short, Pres, I missed out on my baby boy's future because you stopped selling my ciggys. How do you plan to compensate me?


P.S.
I have attached a photo of myself for future reference

Roberto