Vibrator use by Men; Ewwww

I would now like to move into a category of things that I really, really don't like. The Journal of Sexual Medicine [Volume 6, Number 7, July 2009 , pp. 1867-1874(8)] published an article on the "Prevalence and Characteristics of Vibrator Use by Men in the United States."

While I realize that for some men, this is probably stimulating, I can't seem to grasp the point. Insights would be appreciated and, uhm, tentatively received. Let me clarify something, I do not actually have a problem with male vibrator use, I guess I have a problem with the fact (as the study's abstract states) that "clinicians" are recommending their use for men with sexual dysfunction. That seems counter-productive. I firmly believe that any man that would go as far as sticking a vibrating, penis-shaped item in their rectum is either firmly set in his sexual preferences or just creating some much more severe sexual dysfunctions related to how fucked up that would probably make a person feel. 


Still not with me on this one yet? According to this study about 44.8% of men have incorporated a vibrator in their sex lives. Of those 44.8, the ones that had used it the most recently scored the highest on a test of "erectile function." The correlation is made that men who use vibrators in their bedrooms tend to pay a little more attention to themselves down there. No shit. I probably could've told you that without an "erectile function" test. But I find it very difficult to believe their conclusion that "vibrator use...is associated with a wide array of positive sexual health characteristics," simply because a man is secure in his sexuality. I abhor the implication that men may have less sexual dysfunction if they use a vibrator. I'm definitely NOT (*haha) buying one, even though I do worry about ED.


It seems that there are two primary cause of sexual dysfunction in men, physical and psychological. So, on the physical side you probably already realize something is wrong way after a vibrator can help you out. On the psychological side, if people are having psychological issues with sex, is the best thing to do really shove a vibrator in their face? I'm not stupid, I know they have small ones (maybe they even have medically approved vibrators) big ones, short ones, tall ones. I've been to sex shops, I've seen the selection. But it will be a cold day in hell before I think, hmm, I guess I'll stick that in my ass so that my sexual health is secure. That's me though.


I guess the moral of this whole story (and I appreciate you sticking with me here) is that if you think that a vibrator will improve your sexual health, go for it. But don't try telling me that it's a good idea if I do it.

It's the same God-damn shit people are doing with the soda tax, all the vibrator-beaters are trying to sell me some lies! I will not pay tax on Soda and I won't use a vibrator, on myself ;) 

(you're welcome for an extremely creepy ending)