I H8 Dreams

.....beautiful.......

Always taunting me, making me fall in love, feeling like a God, and then you take it all away.

Why can't you let me linger on my stories a little longer? Why must you put me in impossible situations and then see what I do? Why do you take my breath away with incredible happiness just to thrust me into earth-and-soul crushing depression? Do you delight in my sadness? You look on in awe as my fists commit unspeakable acts.

Why must I miss you so when you're gone, then hate you so when you return? Why must you be so vivid and imaginative? So abstract that only I understand the vague moral lessons and fragmented peices of my waking life?

Why do you turn me upside down then flip me inside out? How can you turn me on like no one else? Why are you so hard to describe? How do you show me what it's like to die?




.........amazing.........

Where will you take me next, my fuckling of a friend? To the end?

The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret

http://www.comedy.org.uk/guide/tv/poor_todd_margaret/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIF3Jo61xlE

I know, I know. I am slow when it comes to catching up with internet videos. But I came across this little gem this morning called The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret. It stars David Cross (Mr. Show, Arrested Development, pretty much everything) as Todd Margaret, Will Arnett (Arrested Development, Let's Go to Prison) and Spike Jonze.

Eat Acid, Baseball, Touchdown!!

Click here to go to YouTube

This is Mr. James Blagden's funny little short (Dock Ellis & the LSD No-No) about a happy-fun-cracked-out day (or maybe days) of baseball, airplane flights and pickles. It was fantastic, like finding a long lost treasure I'd been searching for, even though I had no I did what I was missing.

Heaven Without Breakfast?

Click here for YouTube Link

No more gravy, syrup, sausage?!?!?!?! Blasphemy!! NO MORE CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH!!!!!!!

http://masshysteriasports.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html

I never want to ever die if this is the case. Wait, wait, wait. I don't believe in God or Heaven. My breakfast was going to end when I die already...Holy fuck.

http://contexts.org/socimages/2008/11/20/the-hazards-of-historical-amnesia-cause-the-alternative-is-too-disturbing/

I seriously need to start eating more doughnuts, apple pie and orange juice. Because if one of these mornings I don't wake up, I am going to be one fat, pissed mother-fucking asshole. I wants my God Damn biscuits and light bread.

:(

How to use Feedburner to make your blog mobile

Here is a little technical knowledge I'd like to pass on, as it seems there is very little information on the topic. Perhaps I will turn it into a blogger widget some day. This is a cheap, fast and easy option for you blog-o-philes. Here goes:

Prophet Yahweh Documentary

brp! productions is currently negotiating terms and times for a feature-length documentary on Prophet Yahweh.
Please check back here for more information, photos, links, blogs and more!

Following the jump are some interesting correspondence between Prophet Yahweh and myself. Here's hoping that Yahweh allows me to conduct the interview! My fingers are crossed.

Come to Colorado; We'll Taser Your Kids

Next time you are visiting Pueblo Colorado (most notable for being mentioned as a rival team in a South Park episode, The Losing Edge) don't bring your children.

On Thursday, Sheriff's deputies were forced to taser an "out-of-control" ten year-old boy. Apparently he "threatened them with a pipe and a stick, and threw a piece of wood at them." Fortunately, the kid was not harmed. Unfortunately, he was a foster child and had probably experienced some type of abuse in the past. So this most certainly brought up some bad memories, at the very least created some kind of fucked-up-psycho-criminal who hates cops. I would be too.

Boycott Whataburger for Discriminating Against the Poor

Well--just another stupid story and group of people to add to my list of things I hate. It's official, Whataburger is now really far up there.

So here's the deal, I went to buy a cheesebuger and fries. I was told I could not purchase it because I was paying with $7 in change.

Guess what I did, bitches? I remembered my Taco Bell commercial training, drove my ass over there and spent $7, mostly in pennies. Guess what? They totally accepted it and the lady was not even rude about it.

Boycott Whataburger and their change-hating, discriminatory practices. Some of us can't afford paper money, dick-heads.

Fwd: Join Geocachers to Win the DARPA Challenge - Weekly Mailer Addendum

Please, if you see any red balloons with numbers on them tomorrow, let me know!!!

(email after the jump)

I Blew My Brains Out While Watching Local News

I am not sure if anyone else has experienced this problem, but I have to get all of my local TV news from about three news stations. At about 5 to 9 am they have some of the worst people in the world doing the local news. I see the same fucking faces every morning, sometimes they look more dead than others. That doesn't bother me so much, what does are the people on there that have THE most annoying voices I have ever heard in my life.